There is a certain pain in driving across the mid-western states. Well, that’s how Lainey felt about it. But it wasn’t the mainly flat topography, nor the wind that constantly buffeted her aging Mercedes, or even the lack of liquid half-and half-at many places selling coffee. While those things caused her to furrow her precisely plucked eyebrows, only she knew how haunted she was by her childhood memories of living in the vast open space between the Rockies and the Appalachians. Her perpetual take-away from it all was: those she loved, or loved her, always left her.
The anger, the hurt, the torment, and the sorrow were all things she had wrestled with for more years than she could remember. And sometimes she had run away before it could happen again. Truthfully, moving to San Francisco had been a knee-jerk, impulsive, serious lack of judgment action on her part. One fueled by all the emotions she had always struggled with. Sometimes it was like her ten-year-old self oversaw her adult life.
But a few days ago, the Lainey who wears a size twelve and puts money in the bank monthly took over the steering wheel of her crash-and-burn lifestyle. Hence, she came to find herself driving eastward. She hoped she could correct some of the mistakes she had made in the past few years.
She had no illusions that her ex-husband was waiting for her, just pining for her company. She fully assumed that he had long since moved on from their failed marriage, even if she was the one who labeled it as such. None of that mattered to her. The number one thing on her agenda was to make amends for the pain she had inflicted on him and his extended family.
The anger, the hurt, the torment, and the sorrow were all things she had wrestled with for more years than she could remember. And sometimes she had run away before it could happen again. Truthfully, moving to San Francisco had been a knee-jerk, impulsive, serious lack of judgment action on her part. One fueled by all the emotions she had always struggled with. Sometimes it was like her ten-year-old self oversaw her adult life.
But a few days ago, the Lainey who wears a size twelve and puts money in the bank monthly took over the steering wheel of her crash-and-burn lifestyle. Hence, she came to find herself driving eastward. She hoped she could correct some of the mistakes she had made in the past few years.
She had no illusions that her ex-husband was waiting for her, just pining for her company. She fully assumed that he had long since moved on from their failed marriage, even if she was the one who labeled it as such. None of that mattered to her. The number one thing on her agenda was to make amends for the pain she had inflicted on him and his extended family.
